When a flower fairy is born, their destiny is set in stone by the flower that grows from their body. And they are their flower through and through, forever unchanging. Humans have done an amazing job of getting to know my kind and figuring out the meanings behind each flower. And roses are ... one of the most highly sought. The most beloved. But ...
Roses are inherently flawed. We're fragrant and desirable, but long to isolate ourselves for our protection. This problem started before we even existed as fairies, dating all the way back to when it was just my mothers before they founded my entire species.
[ imagine the following like an animated cutscene from genshin because those are always good: ]
My mother, Perianth, was the Goddess of flowers and flower petals. Her significant other was Calyx, the Goddess of greenery and plants. Prior to the founding of Anther, they realised the power of their love for one another - and how it took the form of bright, colourful blossoms when allowed to thrive in the correct environment.
One planet called Earth really infatuated Perianth, who sought to disguise herself and live among humankind. The humans loved the floral creations made by herself and Calyx. But Calyx didn't share this sentiment ... she began to feel envious that humanity was taking so much of Perianth's attention. The bitterness devoured her heart and inspired her to create plants which caused pain to humans when touched. Nettles, thistle, poison ivy, hogweed ... and the humans no longer picked those plants without caution. But it still didn't keep them away from their flowers.
Calyx made the decision to taint the humans' favourite flower: The rose. She covered their stems with thorns, securing their fate as a flower which looked beautiful, but brought pain once touched. Perianth was furious at this, which lead to both Goddesses to leave Earth and work on their growing relationship issues elsewhere.
They patched up their relationship and made the decision to use all of the magic they earned from the humans loving their flowers to create their own realm. Upon seeing how empty it was, they next began to make small versions of themselves to fill it, each carrying a different one of their collaborated flowers. I was one of the original fairies back then ... we were all her children.
Calyx didn't intend for her rose children to suffer a fate by design where closeness would become a deep anxiety for them, but this is just how it is. I can't un-thorn myself ... and I don't know if I can change. Flowers don't cope well with change.
Rose fairies like me are naturally averse to closeness and contact. And this trait, combined with trauma, is a recipe for disaster when it comes to forming bonds. Ultimately, when Anther became more powerful, dragons invaded to steal our magic. My kind ... my siblings ... were burned. Our homes were burned, our villages, everything ... gone. And in the end, the only way we found victory was due to our mothers' sacrifice. Few fairies survived the invasion and burning of Anther, but ... I did.
[ a teardrop rolls down her cheek and lands onto her tense, shaking fists. ]
And now, I ... a rose fairy who lived through the hurt and pain of losing everyone I loved ... have the most impenetrable and deepest thorns on my stems. Avoiding love has been my way of existing for almost a thousand years - but I was content to do it. I starved myself of love and felt great about it. I felt like I was avoiding further unnecessary pain and hurt. Each world I arrived in to grow flowers would have me arrive and leave with the seasons and this routine suited me. It was so comfortable.
But ... things are different now.
I tried to avoid heartache with my former lifestyle. But here ... I thought avoiding love would still feel as good as it did for hundreds of years. But I ...
[ he lightly rubs her back while she does that-- after all, she just... told him everything, all at once. he knows how overwhelming something like that can be. ]
[ she sniffs and expels another shaky sigh, intermittently wiping her eyes. ]
Well ... you know why I am the way I am now. And it's so hard being here ... I'm used to having lovers ... but I always leave. But here ... as everyone around me has started to date and pair up with one another, I've felt ... lonely. I thought I was happy isolating myself. Protecting myself from heartbreak. Ironically enough, the realisation of what I've been missing out on this whole time ...
[ she puts her head in her hands. ]
Has broken my heart worse than I could've ever imagined.
[ ah-- that does make him feel bad, as he understands what she's referring to. And it isn't as easy for him to respond to, as he'd like... ]
... I see. I'm sorry, I didn't realize.
[ a soft exhale, ]
But in the span of many years... Roses are still the flowers of romance, despite all their thorns. Indeed, caring for anyone will eventually hurt. Yet, you can still choose to do it anyway.
Mm, I know ... [ sniff ] I'd use that reasoning as fuel to not grow close to humans, too. You all die so much younger than fae ... the grief I'd feel if I loved a human and they died would be otherworldly.
[ he's right, but ... ] I wish I could be like you. You met someone here that you immediately liked and started dating ... it shocked me to my core, because I knew there was no way I'd ever be able to do something like that. Even now, I ... I find the idea really hard.
[ he leans against her lightly, struggling with the words here, and finally admitting, ]
Loss has made me who I am today. But-- I don't want it to define me. I don't want it to trap me, longing for something that will never return and unable to enjoy the moment I'm living. Right now.
But-- yes. I like living this way, even when it's difficult at times. While the journey has perilous lows-- there are times where I can feel almost as if I could touch the clouds.
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I was just concerned.
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[ sigh ]
The problem is ... I just don't really know where to start. Can we sit?
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Of course. Where would you like?
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[ once they sit, she fidgets with her dress. she can't quite dive into it just yet, but she can make a start. ]
Kazuha ... have you ever wondered why roses have thorns?
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[ he's wondered so many things throughout his wanderings, ]
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Roses are inherently flawed. We're fragrant and desirable, but long to isolate ourselves for our protection. This problem started before we even existed as fairies, dating all the way back to when it was just my mothers before they founded my entire species.
[ imagine the following like an animated cutscene from genshin because those are always good: ]
My mother, Perianth, was the Goddess of flowers and flower petals. Her significant other was Calyx, the Goddess of greenery and plants. Prior to the founding of Anther, they realised the power of their love for one another - and how it took the form of bright, colourful blossoms when allowed to thrive in the correct environment.
One planet called Earth really infatuated Perianth, who sought to disguise herself and live among humankind. The humans loved the floral creations made by herself and Calyx. But Calyx didn't share this sentiment ... she began to feel envious that humanity was taking so much of Perianth's attention. The bitterness devoured her heart and inspired her to create plants which caused pain to humans when touched. Nettles, thistle, poison ivy, hogweed ... and the humans no longer picked those plants without caution. But it still didn't keep them away from their flowers.
Calyx made the decision to taint the humans' favourite flower: The rose. She covered their stems with thorns, securing their fate as a flower which looked beautiful, but brought pain once touched. Perianth was furious at this, which lead to both Goddesses to leave Earth and work on their growing relationship issues elsewhere.
They patched up their relationship and made the decision to use all of the magic they earned from the humans loving their flowers to create their own realm. Upon seeing how empty it was, they next began to make small versions of themselves to fill it, each carrying a different one of their collaborated flowers. I was one of the original fairies back then ... we were all her children.
Calyx didn't intend for her rose children to suffer a fate by design where closeness would become a deep anxiety for them, but this is just how it is. I can't un-thorn myself ... and I don't know if I can change. Flowers don't cope well with change.
Rose fairies like me are naturally averse to closeness and contact. And this trait, combined with trauma, is a recipe for disaster when it comes to forming bonds. Ultimately, when Anther became more powerful, dragons invaded to steal our magic. My kind ... my siblings ... were burned. Our homes were burned, our villages, everything ... gone. And in the end, the only way we found victory was due to our mothers' sacrifice. Few fairies survived the invasion and burning of Anther, but ... I did.
[ a teardrop rolls down her cheek and lands onto her tense, shaking fists. ]
And now, I ... a rose fairy who lived through the hurt and pain of losing everyone I loved ... have the most impenetrable and deepest thorns on my stems. Avoiding love has been my way of existing for almost a thousand years - but I was content to do it. I starved myself of love and felt great about it. I felt like I was avoiding further unnecessary pain and hurt. Each world I arrived in to grow flowers would have me arrive and leave with the seasons and this routine suited me. It was so comfortable.
But ... things are different now.
I tried to avoid heartache with my former lifestyle. But here ... I thought avoiding love would still feel as good as it did for hundreds of years. But I ...
I feel ... so much pain.
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[ he says thoughtfully, the whole of it slowly processing through his brain, as he tries to find the right words... ]
... Hazel, are you lonely here...?
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[ her voice cracks with a whimper ]
I think I've been lonely for nearly a thousand years and only just realised it ...
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... I'm glad you could realize it. It was never a given that you would.
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Ugh ... [ she wipes her eyes with her hands ] I'm s-so sorry ...
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Well ... you know why I am the way I am now. And it's so hard being here ... I'm used to having lovers ... but I always leave. But here ... as everyone around me has started to date and pair up with one another, I've felt ... lonely. I thought I was happy isolating myself. Protecting myself from heartbreak. Ironically enough, the realisation of what I've been missing out on this whole time ...
[ she puts her head in her hands. ]
Has broken my heart worse than I could've ever imagined.
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... I see. I'm sorry, I didn't realize.
[ a soft exhale, ]
But in the span of many years... Roses are still the flowers of romance, despite all their thorns. Indeed, caring for anyone will eventually hurt. Yet, you can still choose to do it anyway.
And you have something most humans don't.
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[ she glances over to him - eyes glassy, bloodshot, her face wet from all of her tears. ]
What do I have...?
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[ his fingertips run in circles along her back. ]
We are ephemeral, compared to most things.
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[ he goes a little quiet, thinking about this, ]
... I thought I could, finally, so why not...?
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[ for a woman as carefree and easygoing as hazel, this is her one major obstacle. ]
I just don't know what to do.
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Loss has made me who I am today. But-- I don't want it to define me. I don't want it to trap me, longing for something that will never return and unable to enjoy the moment I'm living. Right now.
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[ now it's her turn to put her hand on his back. ]
Kazuha, I'm so sorry. But that philosophy sounds like ... such a good way to live, despite.
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But-- yes. I like living this way, even when it's difficult at times. While the journey has perilous lows-- there are times where I can feel almost as if I could touch the clouds.
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