[ she sniffs and expels another shaky sigh, intermittently wiping her eyes. ]
Well ... you know why I am the way I am now. And it's so hard being here ... I'm used to having lovers ... but I always leave. But here ... as everyone around me has started to date and pair up with one another, I've felt ... lonely. I thought I was happy isolating myself. Protecting myself from heartbreak. Ironically enough, the realisation of what I've been missing out on this whole time ...
[ she puts her head in her hands. ]
Has broken my heart worse than I could've ever imagined.
[ ah-- that does make him feel bad, as he understands what she's referring to. And it isn't as easy for him to respond to, as he'd like... ]
... I see. I'm sorry, I didn't realize.
[ a soft exhale, ]
But in the span of many years... Roses are still the flowers of romance, despite all their thorns. Indeed, caring for anyone will eventually hurt. Yet, you can still choose to do it anyway.
Mm, I know ... [ sniff ] I'd use that reasoning as fuel to not grow close to humans, too. You all die so much younger than fae ... the grief I'd feel if I loved a human and they died would be otherworldly.
[ he's right, but ... ] I wish I could be like you. You met someone here that you immediately liked and started dating ... it shocked me to my core, because I knew there was no way I'd ever be able to do something like that. Even now, I ... I find the idea really hard.
[ he leans against her lightly, struggling with the words here, and finally admitting, ]
Loss has made me who I am today. But-- I don't want it to define me. I don't want it to trap me, longing for something that will never return and unable to enjoy the moment I'm living. Right now.
But-- yes. I like living this way, even when it's difficult at times. While the journey has perilous lows-- there are times where I can feel almost as if I could touch the clouds.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Ugh ... [ she wipes her eyes with her hands ] I'm s-so sorry ...
no subject
no subject
Well ... you know why I am the way I am now. And it's so hard being here ... I'm used to having lovers ... but I always leave. But here ... as everyone around me has started to date and pair up with one another, I've felt ... lonely. I thought I was happy isolating myself. Protecting myself from heartbreak. Ironically enough, the realisation of what I've been missing out on this whole time ...
[ she puts her head in her hands. ]
Has broken my heart worse than I could've ever imagined.
no subject
... I see. I'm sorry, I didn't realize.
[ a soft exhale, ]
But in the span of many years... Roses are still the flowers of romance, despite all their thorns. Indeed, caring for anyone will eventually hurt. Yet, you can still choose to do it anyway.
And you have something most humans don't.
no subject
[ she glances over to him - eyes glassy, bloodshot, her face wet from all of her tears. ]
What do I have...?
no subject
[ his fingertips run in circles along her back. ]
We are ephemeral, compared to most things.
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
[ he goes a little quiet, thinking about this, ]
... I thought I could, finally, so why not...?
no subject
[ for a woman as carefree and easygoing as hazel, this is her one major obstacle. ]
I just don't know what to do.
no subject
Loss has made me who I am today. But-- I don't want it to define me. I don't want it to trap me, longing for something that will never return and unable to enjoy the moment I'm living. Right now.
no subject
[ now it's her turn to put her hand on his back. ]
Kazuha, I'm so sorry. But that philosophy sounds like ... such a good way to live, despite.
no subject
But-- yes. I like living this way, even when it's difficult at times. While the journey has perilous lows-- there are times where I can feel almost as if I could touch the clouds.
no subject
[ she genuinely is - despite how sad she is at present. but how could she ever hope to find happiness the way kazuha has? ]
no subject
But it took a lot of effort. And support.
no subject
no subject
[ he says thoughtfully, ]
Only to offer my support to you.
no subject
[ her eyes swell up with tears again at the prospect of having support now. she had been missing out on this, too. ]
You'll really support me?
no subject
I consider you extremely important to me.
no subject
Ngh...! [ tears! there are tears! ] T-Thank you!
no subject
Whatever I can do to help, I'll do my best.