[ this is what she was worried about!! she sighs, leaning forward and planting her face into hazel's neck. ]
I... [ "i'm not a good person." avenger's words, march's words, dan heng's words - they all stick with her, tearing that sentence away from her lips. and finally, she says: ] Being a good person isn't really something that comes naturally for me. Being a person at all isn't, I don't think.
[ she hesitates - pushes herself off of hazel, back a foot or two. ]
[ it's easy to take off the shirt like this. a bit harder with the wings, but she can figure it out quickly enough. and as she tugs it off, a plain sports bra comes into view-
along with the scars of battle. little fractal lightning scars from combat, burns where sirin's flame and the doomsday beast's light bore down on her, the nicks and tears of a life spent fighting. and under her left breast, a mass of scar tissue where a lance - the lance at her bedside - once pierced through her.
all of it has healed through with what looks like molten, shining gold. a kintsugi doll, built for holding the thing inside her. ]
There's something sealed inside me. Or... maybe it's better to say that I'm that thing. If I existed before they put it into me, we don't have any proof.
[ the gold is just ... dazzling. she's seen a lot in her years, but she's never seen anything like this. hazel's eyes sparkle when she leans in to take in the sight of her, running some of her fingertips along stelle's skin. ]
... You're breathtakingly beautiful.
[ but stelle's tone and description implies something much darker. hazel gazes up at her. ]
And now, you ... want to choose your own destiny? Is that right?
[ look at these smooth talkers!! when stelle continues, that serious tone is still there - though that hint of a smile doesn't go away, either. ]
Yeah. Something like that. [ it's close enough, anyway. ] It's... something from the stars. Something bad. The Stellaron - a "seed of destruction". That's what I am, on the inside.
[ a shaky, nervous breath. ]
I've hurt people, even since I came here. I destroyed Sirin without even meaning to. I hurt Dan Heng, and I wanted to. All I could think was how beautiful he looked like that. And I can't make myself not all of those terrible things. But... as scary as all that is, this- [ -she reaches up, runs a finger over one of the flowers in her hair- ] -reminds me I can do good things, too. That I don't have to just destroy.
[ she can't help but look on slightly surprised when hearing that about stelle's destructive tendencies. she never expected it - stelle seems so tranquil and content ... but then again, we can't always know what's going on inside. ]
I-It's good to have a positive outlet, yes ... the whole purpose of a Canterwit is that we spread happiness in the form of flowers, taking in others happiness as magic. In a way, it's the opposite of destruction. And you're sure you're okay with that....?
[ she doesn't move to close the remaining distance between them. but she does reach forward, laying her fingers on hazel's cheek. ]
Maybe I was only made to control something awful. Maybe that thing is all I am to begin with. But... That doesn't mean I can't help, or heal, or spread happiness. I can make the flowers grow, even with what I am.
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no subject
I... [ "i'm not a good person." avenger's words, march's words, dan heng's words - they all stick with her, tearing that sentence away from her lips. and finally, she says: ] Being a good person isn't really something that comes naturally for me. Being a person at all isn't, I don't think.
[ she hesitates - pushes herself off of hazel, back a foot or two. ]
Is it alright if I take off my shirt?
no subject
Of course.
no subject
along with the scars of battle. little fractal lightning scars from combat, burns where sirin's flame and the doomsday beast's light bore down on her, the nicks and tears of a life spent fighting. and under her left breast, a mass of scar tissue where a lance - the lance at her bedside - once pierced through her.
all of it has healed through with what looks like molten, shining gold. a kintsugi doll, built for holding the thing inside her. ]
There's something sealed inside me. Or... maybe it's better to say that I'm that thing. If I existed before they put it into me, we don't have any proof.
no subject
... You're breathtakingly beautiful.
[ but stelle's tone and description implies something much darker. hazel gazes up at her. ]
And now, you ... want to choose your own destiny? Is that right?
no subject
[ look at these smooth talkers!! when stelle continues, that serious tone is still there - though that hint of a smile doesn't go away, either. ]
Yeah. Something like that. [ it's close enough, anyway. ] It's... something from the stars. Something bad. The Stellaron - a "seed of destruction". That's what I am, on the inside.
[ a shaky, nervous breath. ]
I've hurt people, even since I came here. I destroyed Sirin without even meaning to. I hurt Dan Heng, and I wanted to. All I could think was how beautiful he looked like that. And I can't make myself not all of those terrible things. But... as scary as all that is, this- [ -she reaches up, runs a finger over one of the flowers in her hair- ] -reminds me I can do good things, too. That I don't have to just destroy.
no subject
I-It's good to have a positive outlet, yes ... the whole purpose of a Canterwit is that we spread happiness in the form of flowers, taking in others happiness as magic. In a way, it's the opposite of destruction. And you're sure you're okay with that....?
no subject
[ she doesn't move to close the remaining distance between them. but she does reach forward, laying her fingers on hazel's cheek. ]
Maybe I was only made to control something awful. Maybe that thing is all I am to begin with. But... That doesn't mean I can't help, or heal, or spread happiness. I can make the flowers grow, even with what I am.